The Most Beautiful Roses

     There are days, weeks and even months that go by that I know I have not made a conscious effort to stop and smell the roses. Why do we do that? We get caught up in the daily grind of keeping house, raising a family, being a wife and mother, juggling appointments and for many of us, keeping up with all of the necessary therapies and Dr visits. Yes, there are days that go by and I know I am not taking the time to just stop for a moment and soak it all in, the good, the not so good... but all to often it seems easier to just keep on going. Getting off the treadmill just seems like too much trouble. I have come to realize after a few years since our son's diagnosis that the winter months are the more difficult months for me and the summer time... well, who can ignore the beautiful sunshine! Truly, our son has taught me so much. I thank G-d for every beautiful day that we have, and along the way I am learning to thank G-d for everything else in-between. The obvious blessings, the difficulties and challenges, the ups and the downs.... I find it is much easier to thank G-d when things are going well, but to find the strength to thank G-d when things are not going so well, that is still so difficult for me. In the moment, when Sruly was a toddler and really going through a rough time, I think I did much more complaining to G-d then thanking. In fact, I am embarrassed to say I cannot remember if I took the time to thank G-d at all!

      All of our children have taught me so much and continue to teach me more then I teach them. I think kids with special needs teach the world so much more then what we can teach them. Sure, we teach them academics, proper behavior, life skills to name a few, but in return we get so much more and for this I often feel quite humble around kids with special needs. There is so much that they put up with, often in silence when we would complain. There are so many petty things that the rest of us get hung up on when it probably doesn't even cross the minds of many people with special needs. I have come to strongly feel that they truly are on a higher spiritual level then the rest of us, even if they may not think so! I am not so familiar with with all of the different types of special needs out there but as a parent I am somewhat familiar with the world of Autism. I have learned that among other strengths, people with autism are the epitome of truthfulness and honesty. How different the world would be if all of us were blessed with that strength!

      On smelling the roses... Today, after a therapy and Dr apt, my husband and I took the luxury of going food shopping with our three-year-old. We did not rush and took the liberty to take things slow, soak in the moment and just enjoy each others company. It felt so good. Where did we go? Target and Whole Foods, but it really felt like a mini vacation. I don't think I can explain how good it felt without sounding like I went off the deep end. Yes I was happy, but I felt the happiness. The world wasn't rushing and I think I actually got off the treadmill. I took the time to admire my husband. I took the time to admire our daughter. Perhaps it was simply taking a day off and not rushing, being a little carefree and lighthearted, deciding to just let G-d handle the day and not fight Him.... I don't know, but to take a couple of hours and not worry so much about our constant responsibilities and time pressures gave me the opportunity to stop. We gave our three-year-old a child's shopping cart and enjoyed watching her take on something new. She was in awe at filling up her cart and pushing it around the store. I must say she took her job very seriously. Born with low muscle tone, she got a bit of a late start in walking and gaining her independence, but every moment to her is a joy. She began walking on her own about 7 months ago and is simply overjoyed to walk with us, play with friends and siblings, but most of all she loves to help. Having her own shopping cart and helping us with food shopping seemed to mean the world to her, and consequently to me as well. It was beautiful. She shopped and filled up her cart while I was laughing with pure joy watching her and admiring at how far she has come. How far all of us have come for that matter....

- Matana

So yes, today I can say I stopped to smell the roses. The most beautiful roses.