Climbing your Mountain

      I remember gazing at you for the first time. I remember the overwhelming feeling of intense emotions that rushed through me. I was filled with wonder at the beautiful miracle that was just placed upon my chest. You were beautiful! 

      

      Exhausted from the long labor and with my eyes closed, I tenderly placed my hand over yours, hoping that everything was ok. I carefully felt your delicate little fingers. You were quiet, but breathing. I gently placed my hand on your side and held you close. You were quiet, but listening. I opened my eyes to look into yours. You were tired as well. I slowly brought my other hand over you. It's ok little one, you can rest now. Your body rose with the rise of my chest, and with each breath you seemed to relax a bit more. I felt shy and was humbled to meet such a perfect human being. Who am I, to raise such a beautiful soul? Was G-d certain He knew what he was doing by entrusting me with such an awesome being? You were quiet but filled with life, and you had an endurance that would later inspire us both, for you had a mountain to climb.

      You had difficulty nursing. You struggled to get nourishment. It was too exhausting for your little tired body. We both cried as you would strain to get milk from me, and then fall asleep to conserve your energy. I so badly wanted to connect with you in this unique way, but I began to realize that your week little body simply needed nourishment more then I needed to bond with you in this special way.  I would cradle you close to my heart as you would eat from a medicine dropper, whispering gently words of encouragement for you to take just one more swallow. Just one more swallow, and again, just one more. Little by little you began to get stronger. Each feeding would consume every ounce of your energy, but you were determined to begin the long assent of your mountain. 

      Every milestone took great effort on your part. It has been amazing to watch your persistence and patience. There were many times I felt tears welling up inside me as I watched you struggle, but then I would see your determination and courage. You have strength I could only wish for and G-d has blessed you with a great gift, because your mountain is an awesome one. Climb your mountain, little one, but please, may I be so humble as to ask for you to take me with you.

- Matana B