As we Grow with Life.

      It's 7:30 am and I think I just gave up on sleeping for the night. The baby got up at 3am for the second or third time. I fed her and she went back to sleep. Then I heard Sruly get up.... He hasn't gotten up that early in a while so I really shouldn't complain, but doesn't G-d know that a mommy needs sleep? I have been up since 3am. I slowly got out of bed around 7am, realizing that there was no way I was going to get anymore sleep so I may as well start the day and join my Husband downstairs.

      I came downstairs and tried hard not to look at the mess. There was dirty laundry on the stairs waiting to be brought upstairs and put in the laundry hamper. There was a mess of hats, gloves, scarves, boots, mittens, coats and more at the bottom of the stairs making it almost impossible to climb over the gate (which was at the bottom of the stairs), gracefully. I was lucky I landed on my own two feet. Library books were all over the table, couch and floor. The kitchen sink.... well I won't go there. You would think the parents went to bed the night before too tired to clean.... Well, here I was, completely sleep deprived, surrounded by blessings but all I could see was mess and chaos. I even felt like I could see the noise. I could definitely feel my irritability and hoped that no one else could, but I think my dear husband was able to sense it from the other room.

"Don't worry," he said. "I will take over when I get home and you can take a nap."

    We have all had days, weeks and even months like these. Often times we just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We think the kids will never grow up, they will be toddlers forever. The mess with just multiply on its own no matter how often we clean. The laundry we feel has come alive and is out to get us as it grows and stretches across the house, slowly devouring everything in its path. The kitchen sink gurgles in protest as it tries to swallow the water being blocked by bits of leftover food and a mountain of dishes. We begin to wonder what exactly did we sign up for.... or did we? But somehow through it all, somewhere we manage to dig down deep and find the strength to carry on and care for the little cries, the spills, feed the hungry mouths, wipe the tears, read to the curious eyes, answer those often persistent questions of the curious minds, smile back at the beautiful smiles looking up at us. Looking up to us. They are watching and learning from our every move. Learning that it's ok to cry. Learning that it's ok to make mistakes. Learning about the value of love, of touch, of warmth, of devotion, of persistence. And finally they watch as we grow, but it's a secret that they don't know. They may never know how much they have touched us to the core and have truly changed us from the very depths of our soul. And for this we are forever grateful.

                                                     

                                                               photography by Mendel