Erev Rosh Hashanah: On Gratitude.

      It's amazing how many times we second guess ourselves. How often we worry as parents. Are we doing the right thing for our children? Can I raise them to become loving, stable, self assured adults? Will they grow to embrace Torah, love G-d, hold a stable relationship full of warmth and kindness? Will they be able to understand and feel the depth and passion of not just their own emotions but of others as well, perhaps a significant other? Will they be able to embrace the trials and tribulations that life throws at them and become stronger from it? Or, heaven forbid, will they begin to feel it's easier to simply let go and search for what may seemingly look like an easier path, but it's one without growth, without a passion for life and Torah. 

      As we come closer the the new year, I am overwhelmed with all that I want to pray for. Instead I sit down and I thank G-d for all that we have. 

Thank you Hashem for giving me another day of life.

Thank you for blessing me with energy, to be able to think clearly, breath, see, and walk on my own. 

Thank you for my husband, my children and for giving me the gift of embracing life with them.

Thank you for your beautiful Torah and guiding our way of life.

Thank you for our home, food, clothing, running water, washing machine, dishwasher, vacuum and working appliances.

Thank you for helping me to slowly become more patient with my children.

Thank you for easy labor, delivery and recoveries.

Thank you for guiding us in raising our children.

Thank you for Shalom Bayis, health, simcha and laughter.

Thank you for wiping my tears and holding my hand through our challenging times.

Thank you for loving and supportive parents and grandparents, for my dear siblings, and knowing the gift of having a wonderful family. 

Thank you for all of the support you have given us for Sruly, for teachers who love him, for family who   adores him, for his growth and progress, but most of all for the gift of raising him with you.

Thank you for each and every one of our children, for the opportunity of raising them together with you and my husband. 

Thank you for all of the tests you have so carefully chosen and given us.

I hope and I pray that in this coming new year we are blessed to be given a year full of life, laughter, simcha, joy, health, strength and wisdom.

May we be inscribed in the book of life, and be able to dance with Moshiach speedily in our days. 

Amen and L'chayim!  

Homeschool Curriculum: Math & Reading

      Math & Reading

      There are many choices out there, but just for you to have something to compare with, look at and see if it may be the right style for you and your child, I will share with you what we have used and liked so far.

Math: 

I fell in love with Math-U-see as soon as I watched a few of their demos. It is a very visual and hands on approach, and in fact, has similarities to a montessori style of teaching math.  http://www.mathusee.com/ 

One of my little children needed a bit more extra help, so I purchased and downloaded worksheets from Touch Math. They are absolutely incredible but quite pricey so it's nice they have the option to purchase and download specific worksheets as needed to help target areas in which your child may need some extra help.  http://www.touchmath.com/

Other popular math programs are Teaching Textbooks and Singapore Math, but math-u-see was a better fit for our very hands on, kinesthetic, visual learners.
                                                                            Below: Doing math-u-see

Reading:

Now I'm Reading! by Nora Gaydos. 

My mother used these books for my siblings, and I used these books for each and every one of our children. I am not sure if they are slowly going out of print which would be so unfortunate, but I found that Barns and Nobles has some of them on their web site.  

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/now-im-reading-animal-antics-level-1-nora-gaydos/1109127797?ean=9781584760733 - level one  

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/now-im-reading-amazing-animals-level-2-nora-gaydos/1109127798?ean=9781584760740 - level two

There are 4 level plus an independent reading series. I would suggest to find what you can and if you like it purchase it.

As far as teaching the sounds that each letter makes to eventually build up to sounding out a word (or decoding), with the guidance and wisdom of a dear friend of mine I have fallen in love with the Montessori method of teaching. A popular and very effective teaching aid is their movable alphabet. Montessori also has a specific order as to which letter sounds to introduce first.

http://www.amazon.com/Montessori-Movable-Alphabet  - English Alphabet

http://www.jewishsoftware.com/products/Jewish_Montessori_Alef_Bet - Alef Bet

Learning to Write.

When the children are leaning to write and form their letters this has been my paper of choice, especially for children with special needs. http://www.startdothandwriting.com/ourmethod Here is a link to some of their products. http://www.startdothandwriting.com/companion-materials  (In the early stages we gravitate to a Montessori approach for example writing in sand etc...)

This is also great for visual learners. Less colorful but still excellent! forhttp://www.amazon.com/Abilitations-Integrations-Hi-Write-Beginner-Paper

A fun book for the reluctant writer that was recommended to me by another homeschool mother is called Games For Writing by Peggy Kaye. http://www.amazon.com/Games-Writing-Playful-Child-Learn 

      After they have mastered reading it's all about encouraging a love for reading. In the back of our dining room we have a separate table full of beautiful books on display to encourage reading. In addition to searching for appropriate and stimulating books for them to read on their own, we have fallen into habit that I cherish. Reading at bed time. This often stretches out bedtime to about an hour just in reading. I wait for the children to snuggle up under their covers and then I typically choose a parsha (bible) story or any Chassidic or Yom Tov story that we may be up to during that time of year. I want them to associate Yiddishkyt with warmth and comfort, falling asleep to timeless, beautiful and meaningful stories and lessons from our past. I am not sure what the teenage years have in store for us, but I hope this will help set a beautiful foundation.

      A Word on Vocabulary
   
      I have learned from Charlotte Mason, that when we come across a vocabulary word, I don't stop to explain it unless the kids ask me, otherwise it is best to assume that they were able to figure it out based on the context of the sentence / story. So unbeknownst to the children, we are also building our vocabulary. There is a lot that that the Charlotte Mason method of has to offer and many families pick and choose which subjects to incorporate her methods of teaching, if not all. I have purchased CM DVD seminars and they have helped us a lot in our homeschooling journey. This is one of my favorite websites -   http://simplycharlottemason.com/

      If you are looking for a list of vocabulary words to slowly work on with the children, we enjoy Marie's Words - Visual Vocabulary for All Ages.  timberdoodle.com - Visual Vocabulary Lots of fun!

     Sequential Spelling

      The only structured curriculum that I have found for spelling that I like is Sequential Spelling. sequentialspelling.com The following is a short explanation from the company. "The student learns sets of words that share patterns of spelling rather than thematically related lists of words. Young writers often try to use the sounds in words to figure out their spellings; experienced writers often use this phonetic strategy first, and then try other approaches, including applying common spelling patterns. So it is definitely worthwhile to help children hear the sounds in words by developing phonemic awareness, and then exploring sound/symbol relationships and spelling patterns..."

      This DVD set has helped me find many wonderful ways to help make our homeschooling journey truly a beautiful way of life.   http://simplycharlottemason.com/store/all-day-charlotte-mason-seminar-on-dvd/   Again, this may not fit every family, I am simply sharing with you some of the things that have helped to shape our homeschool experience. Charlotte Mason, and the Montessori method of teaching have given life and excitement to our learning.

      Every day I am watching and learning as we grow as a family on this journey. It's a way of life I am happy we have found and cherish every moment of it. It fascinates me that the more time we spend together learning, reading, going on outings etc... the less space I feel I need from the children. Perhaps it's because we are spending more quality time together. Perhaps it's because we are learning more about each other as people. Our needs, our wants, our dislikes, our feelings, our struggles.... Whatever the reason may be I am honored to walk down this path, together with my husband and children. I thank from the bottom of my heart the more experienced homeschool mothers who have answered my many questions, helped us through our struggles and have simply been there in our time of need without being judgmental. It truly does take a village to raise a child. L'chayim!

     

      

Homeschooling: Making it Legal.

      Making it Legal:

*note if your students are registered with a public cyber charter school, such as K12, you do not have to worry about this post.

      Different states have different laws, so it's important to find out where your state stands as far as what the  requirements are to register your school and students. (When I say "your school" I am referring to your homeschool.) The first people we contacted was HSLDA. We registered with them and in the beginning, asked them many questions. http://www.hslda.org/ 

The next website we found to be invaluable was AskPauline.com  http://home.comcast.net/~askpauline/index.html  In our state we have to hand in to the public school 2 forms: 

One, a notarized form which in a nut shell states that you, the parent or guardian will be responsible for the child's education and well being. http://home.comcast.net/~askpauline/hs/docs/basicaffidavit.pdf

The second paper which we must hand in to the school board, together with the above (notarized) affidavit is a form stating your educational objectives for each individual child whom you are homeschooling. She has some examples for you to choose from on her web site. You can print out a form from her website, or you may choose to make your own.     http://home.comcast.net/~askpauline/hs/homeschoolaffidavit.html#objectives 

This may look complicated but it's really not. In total you have two pieces of paper, one notarized, which you need to hand in for every child being homeschooled. Again, look up the requirements for your state. In our state, if the child was never in school before, you do not have to register them until they reach age 7. After that and every consecutive year thereafter you must make sure to re-register them before Aug 1st.

At the end of your homeschool year, you need to bring in a few more pieces of paper to show to a representative of the public school. We met with a very nice representative in a park, the kids played with other homeschool kids and families while we spoke and showed a simple portfolio of their work, and our attendance form. (again, you can find more information on askpauline.com.) It was fun and very laid back. They understand that if you are going through the incredible effort and taking on the awesome responsibility of homeschooling your kids, (and I mean awesome!) you are probably a responsible parent who deeply cares about her child's education.

Good Luck and have fun!

                                                                                                                       photos by Mendel

      

It's 1:00 am in the morning and I am tired. Oh so tired.

      It's 1:00 in the morning and I am tired. Oh so tired. The children went to bed late, as what usually happens during the summer months. They are always just too excited to soak up every minute of daylight and enjoy the outdoors. So yes, once again they went to bed late. Happy, but late. So what does that mean for me? Well, my downtime is pushed up to quite a bit later into the night. I simply can't move. I am exhausted. My body is yelling at me to slow down. To sit. I need some time to re-charge my emotional batteries after spending long days with loving but intense little people. I need time to collect my thoughts, think about the children, where I can improve, where we can improve as a family. Of course my thoughts almost always tend to wonder to where I made mistakes and wondering if I am failing as a mother. Am I giving them the tools they need to face adulthood? Am I showing them what passionate, loving parenting is all about, or am I simply coming across as a tired mother who can't get a grip on the mess, or in their eyes, life? As I look around me, there is quite a mess, so perhaps I didn't overdo it on the cleaning and did indeed give them attention. To be quite honest, it was such a whirl wind that frankly it's hard to remember the positive things I may have done as a parent. It's easier to remember where I went wrong. Where I lost my patience too quickly, where I had the opportunity to read a book to a child but instead went to clean up a spill. Where I didn't turn to answer my oldest as he excitedly told me about his day. I nodded, but I didn't meet his excitement.

   

      It's the end of the day and I need some time to sit, read, write, or perhaps to simply do nothing.

      Ok, I must admit that if I am sitting and doing nothing at the end of the day it means I am too tired to move my body, get up and get ready for bed. I have been known to sit on the couch late at night for a couple of hours too tired to get ready for bed. Too tired to put away any cleaning supplies, spices, liquid soap, salad dressing, tzedaka pennies, toilet paper or anything else our dear Sruly might enjoy watching ever so slowly being flushed or dumped down the drain at 4am. Too tired to lock the necessary cabinets, fridge, door locks. Too tired to clean up the evidence of happy children who played hard and left a tornado in their wake... I turn to my husband for help, but he is sleeping. Sitting up. It amazes me how men can do that. Imagine if women could do that. If we could sleep sitting up, or fall asleep right before our head hits the pillow, or even snooze standing up. Yes, I have seen fathers do that. I have seen my grandfather doze off while he was standing. (The sofa was behind him.) But here I am, too tired to move. Too tired to get up and go to bed.

      I wish I could stay half asleep and clean up like my husband, practically not missing what looks like deep  sleep, but I can't. I gaze at him again and smile. I feel truly blessed to raise our rambunctious crew with such a devoted man. You don't hear very much about the Dads of special needs children, but let me tell you, they are more special than words can even attempt to describe. I feel blessed to have a partner with whom I can make my way through miles of red tape, learning to advocate, juggling Dr appointments, guiding little feet to their therapy appointments, cleaning up mysterious messes throughout the house that even Sherlock Holmes wouldn't be able to identify but somehow my husband can, picking up broken items, (today it was a box of light bulbs that I dropped), throwing out carpets (not even going to go there)....

      I hope to be blessed to walk till one hundred and twenty together with my husband and children on this mysterious ride we call life. I embrace our ups and downs, the challenges that G-d throws our way, our learning experiences, our mistakes, our love for one another, our passion, our tears, our imperfect lives but our perfectly imperfect children. I love you from the very depths of my soul.

      Dear precious ones, there are times I may be too tired to talk, too tired to join in with your enthusiasm, times where I loose my patience and snap, but my heart swells with a deep love I never knew existed.

      It's 1:00 in the morning and I am tired. Oh so tired. But my heart is dancing.

                                                                                                                                    photos by Mendel

Tucking in their shirts???

      A couple of weeks ago our four year old fell and broke her collar bone for the third time. Last year she fell off of our radiator cover and broke one collar bone, and then about a 8 weeks later she fell off of our other radiator (while looking out the window), and broke the other collar bone.

      "She needed to even things out", my husband told the intake attending ER physician as he brought her into the ER once again.

      Our ten year old son is doing better this year than in past years.... A few months ago he broke his leg while jumping off of a moon bounce in a children's museum. The day that he got his cast off, 9 weeks later, he re-injured a number of tendons and ligaments that had grown weak while his leg was in his cast. They finally gave him a "rocker boot" which he wore for 5 weeks until he wore it down to the metal plated soul. A few weeks after that he pitched a hard ball which the batter hit straight into his face breaking his nose......

      A couple of years ago he fell off of a zip line in a park, falling hard onto his arm and added something new to our vocabulary; Supracondylar humerus fracture. He stayed overnight at the hospital and walked out the next day after surgery with three pins holding the bones together with a nice hot green cast. (The first of a few.)  So yes, thank G-d for normal breaks which don't involve me running to Wikipedia to figure out how to pronounce something.

   
      A couple of weeks ago, around the time our daughter broke her collar bone for the third time, my husband bumped into a friend of ours. During the course of the conversation she brought up how particular she is in ensuring that her children are tucked in. My husband, one who is never left speechless, wasn't quite sure what to say except that he is making sure our kids have a pulse and are breathing.

      "What to say?!?!"  I said a bit flabbergasted.

      "How about that this season we are working on making sure that there are no more broken bones!!! But if you want to make sure our boys are always tucked in, go ahead! Really, I have no problem! But don't get me involved! I am making sure we don't have any more ER visits this season that involve putting humpty dumpty or anybody else back together!"

      My husband calmly and a bit comically looked me into the eyes and said, "don't worry, I side with you one hundred percent."

      And thus I was reassured that my job suddenly got a little bit easier.

-Matana B.

                                                      Photos by Mendel B.

Friendship Circle

      About 6 years ago our family was introduced to the Friendship Circle. Sruly was still very young, and as a family we were adjusting to having an open house full of therapists. When Rivkee walked into our home and showed us what the Friendship Circle was all about I knew immediately it was a world we wanted and needed to be a part of. She introduced us to two very sweet and very mature teenagers. Masha and Darya, our children still talk about you! And later when Shane began coming to spend time with our children as well, the warmth and enthusiasm he brought with him only tripled our appreciation for such an organization. Our children felt the love these volunteers showed towards them as well as towards their brother with special needs. Instead of first having to explain to a friend why their brother was doing something that looked a little odd, they were able to invite their friends from the friendship circle into their home with confidence, knowing that we as a family were %100 accepted and loved - each and every one of us, including Sruly. Their visits became a time for our children to subconsciously relax and embrace a fun and much anticipated visit from our new friends. Masha, Darya and Shane have since graduated and moved on with life, however our children still talk about them and the friendship they brought into our home. Since then we, as a family, have participated in many of the yearly events that the Friendship Circle has offered our community. When we are out as a family, often times I am busy keeping track of our children than schmoozing, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate simply being in such a warm environment filled with other families who also have children with special needs. There is an unspoken and much needed connection. 

                          

      

      This past winter when Friendship Circle held yet another beautiful event, I asked my mother if she would like to join us. Usually when there is an event for the entire (typical) community, I go for the children. The events can sometimes be very busy, noisy, loud with lots going on and in the midst of all that, me trying to keep track of everyone. A little overstimulating. Of course I appreciate these events so much because my children always have such a great time and always come home happy, tired and with huge smiles on their faces. "But", I told my mother "somehow the Friendship Circle events are so calming and full of such warmth! Emma, you just have to experience it to see what I am talking about!" And my mother did. It's amazing how these special children can set such a beautiful tone simply by just being who they are. They truly are special children. We thank you friendship circle from the bottom of our hearts for what you are able to provide for these special children, their families and siblings. Thank you!

                 

photos taken by friendship circle ;)

     

As we Grow with Life.

      It's 7:30 am and I think I just gave up on sleeping for the night. The baby got up at 3am for the second or third time. I fed her and she went back to sleep. Then I heard Sruly get up.... He hasn't gotten up that early in a while so I really shouldn't complain, but doesn't G-d know that a mommy needs sleep? I have been up since 3am. I slowly got out of bed around 7am, realizing that there was no way I was going to get anymore sleep so I may as well start the day and join my Husband downstairs.

      I came downstairs and tried hard not to look at the mess. There was dirty laundry on the stairs waiting to be brought upstairs and put in the laundry hamper. There was a mess of hats, gloves, scarves, boots, mittens, coats and more at the bottom of the stairs making it almost impossible to climb over the gate (which was at the bottom of the stairs), gracefully. I was lucky I landed on my own two feet. Library books were all over the table, couch and floor. The kitchen sink.... well I won't go there. You would think the parents went to bed the night before too tired to clean.... Well, here I was, completely sleep deprived, surrounded by blessings but all I could see was mess and chaos. I even felt like I could see the noise. I could definitely feel my irritability and hoped that no one else could, but I think my dear husband was able to sense it from the other room.

"Don't worry," he said. "I will take over when I get home and you can take a nap."

    We have all had days, weeks and even months like these. Often times we just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We think the kids will never grow up, they will be toddlers forever. The mess with just multiply on its own no matter how often we clean. The laundry we feel has come alive and is out to get us as it grows and stretches across the house, slowly devouring everything in its path. The kitchen sink gurgles in protest as it tries to swallow the water being blocked by bits of leftover food and a mountain of dishes. We begin to wonder what exactly did we sign up for.... or did we? But somehow through it all, somewhere we manage to dig down deep and find the strength to carry on and care for the little cries, the spills, feed the hungry mouths, wipe the tears, read to the curious eyes, answer those often persistent questions of the curious minds, smile back at the beautiful smiles looking up at us. Looking up to us. They are watching and learning from our every move. Learning that it's ok to cry. Learning that it's ok to make mistakes. Learning about the value of love, of touch, of warmth, of devotion, of persistence. And finally they watch as we grow, but it's a secret that they don't know. They may never know how much they have touched us to the core and have truly changed us from the very depths of our soul. And for this we are forever grateful.

                                                     

                                                               photography by Mendel